Growth Pain

Something snapped inside me, I can't describe it, or put it into words.
You wouldn't realize unless you know me, and only then if you knew me well, and had heard,
The quiet questions rising slowly, asking to be voiced but only when its calm, at night,
If you were present in that stillness and had listened past the surface words, you might
Have felt the undercurrent surge, have caught a glimpse of that severed cord
Have seen a shadow of turmoil that now I feel I can't afford.
I smile, I laugh when I'm supposed to, most times it feels like its an act;
I pretend to be carefree, try to follow conversation, when, in fact
My mind is drifting, roaming places that feel a million miles away;
It feels as though I must say goodbye to a part of me that I deeply wish could stay.
I'm sure that this is necessary, I trust that good, at least, "can" follow,
But the broken thing is what was known, and that's a heavy pill to swallow.