My Prison

I’m trapped, but please don’t free me,
I beg you to release the chains,
But’ll hate you if you let them drop,
It’s a prison of my own making,
One that I don’t want to leave

The moment I feel pain, I wash it away,
Sorrow and concern fade into the day,
Not a moment to myself,
I pull bottled distraction off of the shelf

I hate how I feel, avoiding what’s real,
Running and ignoring is the only way to deal,
Blue light rots my eyes,
Dastardly bright, forming what I despise,

Liquid lies, formed inside,
Breaking ties, killing pride,
Friends of mine, lost in stride,

If only there were to be a way out,
An off button to shut it all down,
I know there is, my mind shouts,
But I’d do anything not to have the shame around

You see, it’s not a prison, there are no guards,
There are no chains or records marred,
It’s the life I built,
Brick by brick,

It’s the parts I’ve killed,
Hit by hit,

There is no freedom from the sun,
Beams, so fast that you can’t run,

It will always chase you down,
Ruthless rays, you will be found,

Whatever you lift the highest,
Will always shine the brightest,
Whether darkness or light,
It’ll shine across your life

It becomes not a prison, but your world,
The pitch of your idols unfurled,
Worshipping your captor,
Wishing and waiting for final rapture